Bringing Out the Klingon In Me

Maybe it was Bruce Jenner’s award for courage for lopping off his Johnson. Or maybe Congress passing another secret law that they haven’t read and we won’t be allowed to see until it gets passed. Perhaps it was watching yet another citizen have their money confiscated simply because the law enforcement officer deemed it to be suspicious to have it in the first place. Or maybe it was the immediate move towards more gun control over after the tragedy in Charleston. Whatever. I’ve had enough.

Enough of dialogue. Enough trying to discuss things like the Constitution, common sense, and critical thinking. Enough “tolerance” of a citizenry that has approached the levels of moral and mental morons. No more. I going Klingon.

There is a time when it serves no purpose to continue to try to use the broken systems of government and polite society in dealing with those who would strip even the last remnants of liberty from myself and my family. A time to acknowledge Einstein’s definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

There are times when talking stops and patience runs out.

No, I’m not talking about initiating violence. That would be as evil as the society that has been foisted upon us, and the methods the new American government embraces. Power. Money. Corruption.

I’m talking about taking a stand . . . drawing a line in the sand. Putting a foot down and refusing to give any more ground, or even talk about about. Silent, peaceful, and resolute defiance. It is the sort that was demonstrated on July 4th, 1776. The Founding Fathers did not declare war. They simply held their ground and warned their former rulers. Unfortunately, King George chose to ignore the message. He didn’t realize he was dealing with Klingon’s.

While they have been portrayed in number of ways, Klingon’s are not unreasonable. They simply are a tough, no-nonsense race. And, disturbing to a people like many modern-day Americans, they have moral limits—strict rules about honor and a high code personal conduct. Success in negotiating and interacting with them requires an understanding of this rigid and unwavering characteristic. And a healthy respect for not crossing them.

To help those who may not understand how to properly read the emotions and mindset of a Klingon, here is a general guide:

– The Happy Klingon


The happy Klingon is the one who is content to live and let live, and expects you to do the same. He follows the principle of non-aggression, believing it wrong to initiate violence or to abuse your property rights, and he expects the same. Of course, he might feel that way because he sees you as inferior, and there is no honor in committing violence against an inferior. But that’s none of your business.  Regardless, he’s your good neighbor. He’s not beyond helping out a person in need, but he expects him to work and contribute to society, as he does.

– The Concerned Klingon


The concerned Klingon sees the changes being forced unto society by an increasingly tyrannical government and busy-body neighbors. Changes that he knows are not in the best interest of himself and his family.  Forced wealth redistribution via Social Security and Medicare. Government schools teaching things that do not honor God’s law and common sense. But, out his respect for the Constitution and law and order, and understanding that this is a fallen world, he has been more than patient. He used the political system to try to restore order until that system was fully owned by special interests and corporations. He used the court system until it became clear that men and women in black robes were, in the end, just government employees.

– The Deeply Disturbed Klingon








Don’t mistake this Klingon for the aforementioned Concerned Klingon. Note the increasing tension in his face and the fixed, icy stare. He sees that the government is corrupt beyond measure. That there is no accountability and justice for the wrongdoers who have wealth or power. He’s sees pizza shop owners get fined for following their religious beliefs. He is clearly perturbed over the fact that half of the nation is being given free handouts while he and his hardworking friends are taxed to pay the bills. It has not escaped his notice that lies are more common than truth from the mouths of government officials and politicians, and the media is their tool. Advice: Cease your provocations and back off.

– Stage Five Klingon



This stage is given away by the bearing of teeth. In the male, it is impossible to miss, but in the female, you will need to note a lessor apparent degree of distress. As with human females, the looks of the feminine persuasion can be mistaken. This Klingon has moved on from any hope in the political and judicial systems. He or she notices that the normal tools of civilized people to protect themselves have been taken away, such as his ability to buy and possess a firearm. He or she notices the damage being caused in the minds of their children, and the pain suffered by their neighbors as the rich and powerful increasingly shift wealth and income away from them to their own pockets. He notes the increasing amount of violence in the streets. And doesn’t know if he can even trust law enforcement anymore–not only is the enforcement of laws selective, but violence is too often employed against the common man.

– Weapon-Drawn Klingon



The distinguishing trait is the bearing of a weapon—not used, but drawn. As the rulers and society threaten his ability to defend himself and his family, this Klingon begins to buy up guns and ammunition, and practice using them. Where legal, he will sometimes be seen openly carrying his weapons. And you can be sure he has a gun concealed, otherwise. In Klingon culture this is actually an act of kindness and mercy to those who are threatening him and his family. Remember this if you remember nothing at all—Klingon’s don’t bluff.

– The “It’s a Good Day to Die” Klingon


If you run into this Klingon, you’ve gone to far. Someone will not be walking away from the encounter, and chances are it will be you. This Klingon emerges when those in power drop all presence of ruling according to law. When they are guided only by their hubris as they flaunt their power over the weak and helpless. This is the Klingon who awakes to find an intruder in his home during the hours of darkness. This is the Klingon of the stories that Klingon warriors share around fires—victory fires. His ferocity in battle is driven by something most humans cannot understand—he does not fear death. This life and existence are temporary. As an old Klingon proverb advised—there is no shame in running from battle if a kingdom can be saved by it. If he can leave peacefully to save the kingdom, he will. The word to the wise is do not try to stop him from leaving and do not corner him; don’t remove his peaceful options.

Now take a deep breath and relax. Short of the last stage, there need be no fear of Klingon’s. Just a healthy respect, as should be given all those made in the image of God. They are good and model citizens, working and paying their taxes. When called upon to defend it, they will serve on the front lines and give their wealth and lives to defend their land and fellow citizen. And despite their rugged and fearsome looks, they have nothing but good will for all. Contrary to misguided sci-fi stereotypes, Klingons do not attack unless provoked. Of course, you may have to dwell upon what provocation entails. I’ll leave that to you. But it’s nothing trickier than the golden rule.

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